Saturday, December 27, 2014

The Perfect Smile

Are you a dentist?

No. But I do suggest getting some dental work as well. After all, what good is your smile if your teeth look bad.

My teeth look like teeth.

Yes of course. But just a few improvements here and there would help.

Ok. Forget the teeth.  What can you do for me.

First I must suggest you try every avenue you can to have your smile without any of the contrivances we provide.

What? Therapy?

Therapy, yes. But also, a vacation can help. Some people find peace in faith, spirituality, meditation...

I'm not religious in the organizational big money church sense.

No, I understand. Spirituality has nothing to do with religion. It's internal and personal. That's why I mention meditation.

You're saying to believe in myself.

Believe in yourself.

Ok. I get it. I do believe in myself. I'm spiritual. But in the corporate world, it's all about a false front. There is no honesty. It's all about face time, and anytime is face time. You close your eyes and meditate for 20 minutes; people will think you're on drugs or something.

Well that's why we're here.

So will this be permanent?

I think so.

You think so?

We haven't had anyone go through the procedure long enough to determine how long it will last. 

Oh great.

Not to worry, we do have a guarantee.  We think it will stay with you for at least five years.  After that, things may revert back. But I highly doubt it. Five years of the procedure will probably alter your internal muscle memory and you'll become so used it that it will stay with you. My theory is that it would take another five years to wear off.

Look, all I need is to get hired and maybe established for a few years. I'll worry about the rest when the time comes. So what is it that you do exactly?

In simple terms it the latest in plastic surgery. But we don't like to use that term. We call it physical mirroring. In other words, you will look as good as you feel, or want to feel, as the case may be.

Alright. You're going to plant a permanent smile on my face like The Joker.

Yes. That's very funny.

But specifically what are you going to do?

Plant a permanent smile on your face like The Joker.


We will reshape your face, give you a permanent smile. Pull up your eyebrows a bit depending on what kind of look you're going for.

Oh right. I'm kind of torn between the wide eyed girl and the sultry lady.

Yes. Well those are very different looks. Perhaps somewhere in between.

You can do that?

Oh sure. And with the just the least bit of effort you will easily transfer from one look to another. One minute the bright eyed girl. The next minute the sultry lady.

Oh that sounds wonderful. That's exactly what I was hoping to do. Are there any side effects?

Well, climbing the corporate ladder, we hope. But seriously, nothing that mild medication couldn't help.

Mild medication?

Well if you prefer, a few shots or drinks after work, and even during if you can sneak it by. Maybe a joint at lunch, if that's your thing.

Sounds like going back to college.

There you go. Just let go of yourself. No more worries. No matter what stress or internal misery you're experiencing, you'll look like the happiest person on earth on the outside.

How about cost?

We do offer a payment plan through our credit affiliate.

Of course you do.

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