Monday, December 15, 2014

Hacker World: Did you hear about the Sony hack?

That was you?

Hey, I was just having some fun man.

You busted open a major corporation. It must be worth billions.

What'd they ever do for me?

Look man, you could get jacked up for this. They think it's an entire Asian country that did it. This could start a nuclear war, man.

I can't help what the government does. If they start a war, they were going to do it anyway. This just gives them a scapegoat to blame it on.

Not cool man. Why you wanna be a freakin' goat?

I don't. But that's what they do. And this is what I do.

Man, you could bring down a lot of movies.

They suck anyway.

You should take a powder to Mexico or something till the heat dies down. Didn't you see what happened to that snow boy guy?

He hacked into the government. This is Hollywood. The government hates Hollywood. They'd probably give me a medal.

Yeah. I don't see anyone paying much attention.

There you go.

Look you can't talk about this to anyone. You can't text about it, email or anything.

Lighten up man. Don't be so paranoid. If they actually come after me, it means they don't have a freakin' clue. It will prove how retarded they all actually are.

Man, what's with you? Is this a vendetta or something?

You mean like the mask? Like "Anonymous?"

No. I'm not that stupid. I mean how dumb do people have to be to think a group called Anonymous exists and actually takes credit as an organization which is the exact opposite of what anonymous means?

It's genius. Isn't it? Any hacker can hack up a post that claims responsibility as "Anonymous," which throws off suspicion on real hackers and makes people think there's some kind of terrorist organization around. It's what people live for. It gets their blood circulating. And the news media eats it up. A perfect cover, with built in publicity and perpetration. Plus amateurs actually claim membership. Imagine.

Yes, and then get caught. This is what I mean. You can't go around talking like that.

Give it up man. Anyone who hears me will think I'm looney. In fact, I should probably talk it up as much as possible. What ever happened to "Anonymous" anyway? They seemed to have conveniently disappeared into thin air, and replaced by some newcomer called Guardians of Peace. Isn't that convenient as the name of a terrorist organization possibly connected to an act of war?

I suppose Anonymous finally decided to remain anonymous. God, I hope I don't have to bail you out, assuming they even allow bail.

Hey. There is no evidence. Nothing. It's the beauty of it. It disappears into thin air. The snow boy just has too big an ego and had to get his face in the papers.

They don't make papers anymore.

You know what I mean. He's all about vanity, ego, fame. I wonder if he stashed a fortune away somewhere before he decided to go all martyr.

Maybe he's actually proud. In most countries, he's a world hero. But you won't be. There's nothing heroic about hacking into a movie studio.

Hey, the extreme right loves it. How do you know it isn't one of them?

You're a closet right wing extremist?

No man. But why do you believe me when I say I did it, which by the way, I never said?

Yes you did, You said...

I said I was having fun. I never said if I did any hacking, was any kind of participant, or anything concrete. And if I did, all that is, is my words. There is no evidence.

Yes. You keep saying that.

Ok. I don't know it for sure. But I think it's quite obvious that if there were evidence they'd have the guy, or girl, by now. Unless it's a hoax or some kind of plant.

You mean like goat-scaping for war.

War is a huge business. That kind of money will drive people to try anything. If they can sell a war, you can bet they'll do it. We're talking tens, maybe hundreds of trillions.

I hate it when you make perfect sense. I hate you.

No. You love me because I just gave you an education.

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