Wednesday, January 6, 2010

A Fresh Start for Whitey

It's 2010! Happy New Year, whop-dee-do, and all that! I've decided the world has brought us to a new place, a new beginning of a new decade where we will see great new things happen.

Lets take stock of what brought us here. First of all we now have corporations in this country that are "too big to fail," so big in fact that they don't even have to make a profit to stay afloat. They get government corporate welfare. Now what other country has that shit going for it?

I think we should all welcome this new change in America as we move now toward a corporate socialism, where companies will no longer have to worry about competition, or those antiquated ideas like "build a better mouse trap" or " the customer is always right" or making money because they "EARN" it. It's the new millennium folks and time we all move on from the antiquated failed industrial ingenuity capitalism of the 18th century to the new corporate socialized welfare state.

Now, in celebration and as part of the PR campaign to bring this new change home, it's time we upgrade our flag. 13 stripes and 50 stars? Come on. Are we kidding? How many hundreds of years have we had that crap? Sure it was exciting when every few years they added a new star. But those times are long gone. Ain't no more states gonna join this union. No fucking way. The only union anyone is gonna join is the E Union. I mean come on now. One currency and multilingual, plus they got the Riviera, nude beaches, and the Cannes film festival. Sheeeet. I'm going EU baby. Screw this USA bullshit.

So to upgrade our flag and at least make like we even want to be an EU contender I say with spiff it up with the AIG, CitiBank and Bank of America logos. Money talks folks. Yesserieebob. Ain't but one thing that will garner people's attention away from boobs on the beach, and that's green currency baby.

Now while we're at it, we have to set people straight on what the good ole USA is all about. This whole equality thing is getting way too embarrassing. How can we have a Declaration of Independence and a Constitution that talk about equality when we have to get on with racial tazer profiling and Muslim only lines at our airports? Everyone knows that when our forefathers spoke of all men being created equal, what they really meant was all rich whitey men who married their cousins. They didn't mean "women." They didn't mean blacks or Hispanics or any of all these other growing hoards of races infiltrating our country to the point of actually making whitey the minority. So it's time we clarify this shit for all people to understand. RICH - WHITEY - MARRIED THEIR COUSINS. That's it! Everyone else can go fucking die.

Which brings me to health care in this country. If your ain't rich and white, then go die. Whitey ain't paying for non 'a y'all.

So let's review. We'll need to amend the Constitution to rewrite the Constitution to more accurately reflect the reality of the USA. Hey, this is nothing more than truth, honesty and the American way. Equality ain't truth. Capitalism ain't truth. But, Whitey rules in America? Now that' s a truth we can all agree on. Ain't it the truth?

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